Sorry, I haven't submitted much for...I don't know, weeks? I feel like time flies when you're an adult.
I've been going through a lot of family drama and under pressure.
My father for the last few weeks thinks he's dying. Every day he has been sleeping all day till he gets up around 2 - 3 pm. My mother has been angry and upset over this. She thought that ever since my father retired from his job that he had been working for 33 years things would be easier and exciting. But NO.
I've been doing whatever I can to comfort my mother, and I didn't want to leave her alone without knowing she'll be all right. I'm angrier/numb than upset thinking my father's literally going to die. We haven't gotten the results from the doctor yet.
My little sister keeps demanding more money from my parents and all she ever does is spent on what she wants than needs. My mother has had enough with enabling her. My father won't get his retirement fund until next year, so my parents are doing whatever they can to salvage the money they have in their bank account.
My little sister had been drinking so much that she had been hospitalized from alcohol poisoning. She's all right but it was the stupidest thing she's ever done. I don't understand why she couldn't just come home and live with her family which is a lot easier than living on her own.
As for me, well, I feel like I'm not allowed to be happy or do anything I want in life as long as I live with my parents. The whole reason I want to get a job is to get out of my family's life, specifically my father. I think my father hates how I sing, so if I stop singing then I won't make him annoyed or angry. I can sing comfortably only in front of my voice teacher during voice lessons, which is every other Thursday.
Also, I have been struggling with writing my own lyrics because I'm afraid they might sound cliche or shitty, ALWAYS stuck with the chorus and second verse. But no matter what I always keep on trying. I wish there was a school on how to be a songwriter. I can't post my lyrics online because I fear people are going to steal it. I need to stop worrying and do whatever I can finish a song... even if it kills me.