God, time goes by way too fast. I wasn't even excited for 2015 to come, and when it finally came, I got depressed. I feel like I'm growing old, and there are so many things in life I haven't gotten to do. I'll be twenty-five on Feb. 27th.
I've tried searching for a part-time job, but no one's hiring. I refuse to work for fast-food restaurants cause I can't stand little kids! Then I gave up. My father says I'm not even trying, mocking me, being harsh on me. I'm usually contented when he goes to work. My father sometimes can be verbally abusive to my mother. Even though Mom is usually overbearing when she's drunk or moody, I love her more than anybody in the world, I love her more than my own father.
I don't go on Facebook anymore because after I wrote a comment that my father is dead to me, my little sister told me to grow up. Then it got worse and worse the more we fought back and forth. The most cruel thing I've said to her was that I'll be dancing or piss on her grave. Then she tattled on me by calling Mom on the phone. Mom called me an idiot, hit me on the back, and told me to get off of Facebook forever. That's when I decided that my little sister is not invited to my life anymore. I will hate her till the very end, for tattling me numerous time for making comments of how verbally abusive my parents can be. I say this every single day, especially today, "I don't care what happens to Keegan (my little sister). She's not a part of my life anymore."
I'm a part of the ensemble for the musical Cats. I've heard of it, but I didn't get the story of Cats. I've heard of the song "Memory", which made me cry. I'm not really grateful because I feel unappreciated, no matter how hard I've tried to be the best, but I realize it will never happen. So far, this is the sixth play I've participated. I feel like I'm losing my singing voice because my mother always goes to bed so damn early, about 6 pm. I had to be considerate. Plus, I wasn't a fan singing the songs from Cats because the highest notes are complex and lyrics are hard to memorize. I still practice. I miss singing the songs I love to sing, but if I do that, I'm afraid Mom will come in and tell to focus on the songs from Cats. It's like a homework assignment.
I am taking Winter Quarter (from college) off because I thought there was going to be snow and icy roads, and I cannot stand bus delays. However, it didn't happen. Nothing but cloudy days making looking daytime like nighttime.
Listening to: Memory by Elaine Paige
Watching: Dr. Phil